Comedy troupe Nacho Punch has produced a “porno by Wes Anderson” parody entitled The Grand Sausage Pizza. It’s completely safe for work and safe for YouTube, no nudity, but very funny.

If only a real pornparodographer like Axel Braun or Lee Roy Myers would make one of these with real porn. Maybe the target audience is too limited, who knows. Maybe a three-minute PG-13 film is all the Wes Anderson porn parody the world needs.

There have been many King Arthur movies over the years. If you don’t count the Monte Python version, the best is clearly John Boorman’s 1981 Excalibur.

In 2007-2008, French pornographer Pierre Woodman produced a stylish three-part adaptation called Xcalibur: The Lords of Sex. Everyone loves big fantasy trilogies with shiny armor, magic and a zillion characters, so of course it was a big hit.

Film one, Xcalibur: The Lords of Sex, launched a “colossal, cockbusting costume epic … a tale of intrigue, romance and red-hot hardcore action … Arthurian legend with an anal twist”.

A few months later, Woodman followed with Xcalibur: The Lords of Sex 2 with more epic romping in candlelit dungeon sets.

The hot RenFaire action concluded in Xcalibur: The Lords Of Sex 3, billed as the “sizzling story of wanton wenches, swords in stone and knights who ‘Cumalot’!” (get it? Camelot, cum a lot? oy).

In true bloated fantasy trilogy fashion, the three Xcalibur films totalled 8½ hours and 26 sex scenes.

The combined cast includes Caylian Curtis, Divinity Love, Theodora Ferreri, Anita Slager, Cynthia Mouri, Boroka Bolls, Vanessa Bliss, Kevin Long, Alain Deloin, Lara Stevens, Bob Terminator, Reda, Nikki Sun, Janet Joy, Nataly DiAngelo, Carla Cox, Igor, Marcel, Radka, Vito Corleone, Stephanie Sierra, Mona Lee, Roger Venturini, Terenka, Eufrat Tenka, Jasmina, Sloan, Teo, Michael Cheritto, Silvia Saint, Zafira Blunchen, Cage, Martin Gun, Lilly Ramon, Kety Bleins, Suzan Wenera, Yulia Bright, Charlie Parker, Nesty, James Brossman, George Uhl, Joe Monti, Lauro Giotto, Vanessa Smoke, Wein Lewis, Roxanne Keys, Veronika da Souza, Roxy Panther, Thomas Crown, Wildy, Katka Redil, Rudboy, Petra Stingrey, Morgan Moon, Erik Devil, Kristi Klenot, Victor Solo, Jean Val Jean, Kathy Anderson, Sebastian Barrio, Denis Marti, Karel Novak, Claudia Adams, Sabrina White, George Reno, Sunny Jay, Titof, Matt Bird and Marsha Lord.

White Ghetto’s latest porn sort of a parody is This Isn’t My Strange Addiction, It’s A XXX Spoof! Five sex scenes portray “the stories of girls who are battling behaviors on the verge of taking over their sex lives”.

The original show My Strange Addiction has aired on The Learning Channel since 2010. Whatever its original mandate, The Learning Channel nowadays is the lowest tier of reality TV hell, home of the crassest and creepiest crap around, and My Strange Addiction is one of its crassest and creepiest shows. The strange addictions we “learn” about include things like: woman who pulls and eats her own hair, man who loves his sex doll, woman who eats cigarette ashes, man who loves his car, woman who eats dryer sheets, man who loves balloons, woman who eats deodorant sticks, and so on.

By comparison, the strange addictions in This Isn’t My Strange Addiction, It’s A XXX Spoof! are pretty tame. They include: woman who loves gigantic sex toys, woman who loves big black cocks, woman who loves gangbangs, woman who loves analingus, woman who loves getting jizz in her eyes.

Hustler has posted some freebie video clips and photo galleries from its new ripped-from-HBO porn parody This Ain’t Boardwalk Empire XXX.

Scene 1: Al Capone (Tony Rosano) with flapper hooker (Kimber Day) | Video Teaser | Photo Gallery | Notice Day’s anachronistic thigh tattoo — goof!

Scene 2: Margaret (Alana Rains) seduces Chalky White (Jovan Jordan) | Video Teaser | Photo Gallery | He calls her “Mrs Thompson”, so this must be season three.

Scene 3: Brothel madame Gillian Darmody (Cameron Dee) shows a new hire (Presley Hart) the ropes | Video Teaser | Photo Gallery | Is there a prostitute “Iris” on the show? She might be invented for the parody.

Scene 4: Richard Harrow (Ryan Driller) and Julia (Belle Noir) make out on the Boardwalk | Video Teaser | Photo Gallery | He keeps the mask on during sex, at least this time.

Scene 5: Finally, Nucky Thompson (Scott Lyons) encourages aspiring starlet Billie (Cassandra Nix) | Video Teaser | Photo Gallery | Not much resemblance to Steve Buscemi, but maybe that’s for the best.

Too bad we don’t see Lucy and her “fuck me, daaa-deee” routine.

Fox has revived 24 with a new season entitled 24: Live Another Day. This time there are only 12 episodes covering 12 hours, so shouldn’t it be called 12: Live Another Half-Day? Whatever happened to truth in advertising?

Wicked and Axel Braun — key players in a shady international crime syndicate no doubt — come along for the ride with their new 24 XXX: An Axel Braun Parody.

Pornstar Kurt Lockwood plays superspy Jack Bauer, and damned if he doesn’t resemble Kiefer Sutherland just a little.

We have a YouTube trailer and some set photos:

Also starring Penny Pax, Ash Hollywood, Alektra Blue, Kaylani Lei, Claire Robbins, Tyler Nixon, Seth Gamble, Alec Knight, Giovanni Francisco and (in a non-sex comic relief role) Ron Jeremy.

Brazzers has produced a multi-part Jason Bourne/James Bond international superspy porn parody series over the last few years. Brazzers contract woodsman Danny D plays lead role “Jason Blaine” throughout. We’re not sure if they’re done yet, but here’s the story so far.

Spy Hard
Ivana Givehead (played by Honey Demon) plans on detonating bombs all over London and only special agent Jason Blaine can stop her. Getting passed her guards and security will be the easy part….getting the detonation codes the hard part. He’ll just have to put all his training and huge cock to work on her tight little asshole. The fate of England rests on his load.
trailer | video clip | 15 photos

The name “Jason Blaine” echos “Jason Bourne”, but the details here seem more James Bond — the tuxedo, the casino setting, “the fate of England”. And the sexy henchwoman’s name in part 2 also riffs on a famous Bond villain henchman.

Spy Hard 2
Agent Jason Blaine is back in another dick smacking, tit fucking adventure. When a special arms dealer is poised to distribute his goods to terrorist cells around the world, it’s up to Blaine to stop him. But first, he must contend with the dealer’s buxom sidekick, HandJob (played by Anastasia Brill), before he can defuse the situation.
trailer | video clip | 15 photos

Spy Hard 3: Hit Girl
In the thrilling third entry of the Spy Hard series, this time we find our hero, agent Jason Blaine, being held by some mobsters looking to get information out of him by any means necessary. Fortunately for him, Danny’s owed a favor from the deadliest busty assassin in the world: Aletta Ocean! In her secret identity as a slutty schoolgirl, Aletta was busy in class at the St Brazzers Hall boarding school when she got the call to action from our hero the big dicked secret agent. Aletta came to his rescue, quickly dispatching all of his captors with the kind of finesse only a true martial arts master could manage. To repay her kindness, Danny gives her a piece of his fat cock, fucking her pretty face, her beautiful big tits, and of course her tight pussy before giving her a huge facial and sending her back to class.
trailer | video clip | 15 photos

Not surprisingly, there have been a bunch of James Bond porn parodies over the years. The only other Jason Bourne porn parodies we know of are the gay XXX series The Porne Identity and The Porne Ultimatum.

The Donald Sterling scandal has generated two ripped-from-the-headlines porn parodies (so far). Quickest on the draw and first to your eyeballs is the DogFart Network, home of “unique interracial niche websites”, specifically its niche site Cuckold Sessions.

The cuckold genre in porn involves scenarios with a weak man forced to watch his wife or girlfriend have sex with a dominant (usually black) man. Humiliation and racial tension are key to the genre’s appeal. A couple months back we posted about One Flew Over The Cuckold’s Nest. And now Cuckold Sessions has produced a cuckold-themed reenactment of the Donald Sterling scandal. It’s a natural.

DogFart brought together a great cast: James Bartholet as racist old coot “Donald”, Nina Hartley as wife “Shelly”, Raven Bay as mistress “V.”, and Jovan Jordan as NBA superstar “Chris”.

Here’s the official site blurb for the scene:

It’s hard to believe that in 2014 there’s still racism and those who would rather not associate with “those people”. Donald owns a basketball team and his girlfriend and wife are about to set up a trap for him. You see, Donald’s been blowing his money on his girlfriend while his loving wife has been working hard and staying by his side. V. and Rochelle have Donald’s star player, Chris, come over to fuck his big black cock as he watches in absolute horror. On one end his wife and girlfriend are associating with a black guy,his star player. On the other end he’s playing with his tiny pecker, as for the first time in his life he has no control over the situation. Donald’s blood pressure rises as his wife and girlfriend fuck his BLACK money machine until they both share the black load. Donald, on the other hand, pulls his puny pecker(wood) until he erupts all over himself. The ladies, needless to say, are of no help to him at this point further.

DogFart has posted a SFW trailer to YouTube:

Or click through to Cuckold Sessions to watch the far more entertaining four-minute hardcore trailer.

Huffington Post has a good article about the quickie project, including interviews with the stars and scene director Billy Watson. Best line from Watson: “This thing has been so skeevy that maybe it’s the one time when porn couldn’t make it sleazier”.

The Blair Witch Project was a mindboggling success in the summer of 1999. Made for less than $100,000, it ended up grossing $250 million. Fifteen years later, the Hollywood studios and wannabes and film students continue mimicking its formula.

Not surprisingly, there have been many porn parodies over the years. Among the first was The Morgan Sex Project, released by Wicked in fall of 1999, directed by and starring Jonathan Morgan.

The premise: Morgan and friends (fellow pornstars T.J. Hart, Alexa Rae, Leanni Lei, Ian Daniels, Brad Armstrong) hop in an RV and go have sex in the woods. Sometimes they just have sex in the RV.

Apparently it was popular, because Morgan and Wicked churned out five sequels in 2000-2001.

The Morgan Sex Project 2 added Amber Michaels, Sydnee Steele, April Flowers and Evan Stone for another RV road trip. This time they didn’t even bother having sex outdoors and just stayed in the RV.

The Morgan Sex Project 3 added Ryan Conner, Rachel Moore and Lola Vargas for vacation sex on a boat and on the beach, which frankly sounds much more fun than the RV in the woods.

The Morgan Sex Project 4 added Alexandra Quinn, Kelsey Heart, Friday and Randy Spears. This time Morgan and friends supposedly “take to the slopes” for some skiing, though the sex scenes all took place in the RV (which must have been starting to smell a bit funky at this point) or a cheap motel room.

For The Morgan Sex Project 5 and The Morgan Sex Project 6, Inari Vachs, Jenna Haze, Sydnee Steele, Kaylynn, Krystal Steal and the guys went on vacation in Hawaii. For the final installment, they shot a sex scene in green-tinted night vision as tribute to the original Blair Witch Project.

A few weeks back, we posted the “Wes Anderson porn parody” viral video which was making the rounds.

And now whaddyaknow, there’s an actual Wes Anderson porn parody — This Isn’t The Grand Budapest Hotel, It’s A XXX Spoof!, releasing today from White Ghetto.

White Ghetto has a track record of quirky parody choices and great box covers housing disappointingly generic porn. The blurb for Grand Budapest Hotel XXX reads, “The story recounts the outrageous sexual exploits of the hot and horny staff at a hotel. They make sure their guests get the best possible service and always cum back when in town!” That probably translates to five sex scenes all filmed in hotel rooms with little if any attempt to mimic Wes Anderson.

But what the hell, we asked for a real Wes Anderson porn parody containing real porn and we got one.

Wicked has released the second installment in Axel Braun’s fairy tale series, Sleeping Beauty XXX: An Axel Braun Parody.

Hollywood released its own re-imagining of Sleeping Beauty a month ago — Maleficent with Angelina Jolie and Elle Fanning — so this release is timely, give or take a month.

YouTube has been steadily banning all the porn biz accounts, but Axel Braun is still alive so there’s a SFW YouTube trailer:

For those who need reminding on how the fairy tale goes, here’s an illustrated plot summary. There’s this lovely, young, blonde, virginal princess (Anikka Albrite).

And the princess has a run-in with wicked queen Maleficent (Stormy Daniels), who wears a kicky horn hat which she keeps on during sex.

The princess also meets a prince (Michael Vegas) with hipster sideburns.

But the prince also digs the queen.

Meanwhile, the king gets it on with three fairy babysitters (Claire Robbins, Casey Calvert, Riley Steele), because he’s the king and he can do whatever he wants.

And they all live happily ever after, probably, I don’t remember exactly.

Basketball season is over, Donald Sterling is no longer nightly news and comedy fodder, and Smash Pictures presents Owner Gets Clipped, its XXX parody reenactment of the Donald Sterling racism debacle.

That’s the problem with most “ripped from the headlines” porn parodies — even at the speedy pace of porn production, the scandal has faded by the time the XXX version gets released. Smash director Jim Powers cast, shot, assembled and released Owner Gets Clipped within nine weeks of the first TMZ newsflash, which is pretty damn impressive, but it still feels like old news.

There’s no SFW trailer, but GameLink has a hardcore trailer. The fake “20/40″ interview with “Barbara Waba” (played by porn legend Rebecca Bardoux) is actually pretty funny.

Here’s the sex scene breakdown:

(1) Racist old coot team owner Donald Sperming (Kyle Stone) with mistress Z (Yasmine De Leon).

(2) Mrs Sperming (Nina Hartley) has her own fling with one of the team’s players (Jon Jon).

(3) Z gets it on with another famous basketball player (Mark Anthony).

(4) Donald gets it on with another black mistress (Harley Dean).

(5) Mrs Sperming and Z settle their differences.

The pornsite Cuckold Sessions debuted its own cuckold-themed Donald Sterling porn parody a month ago. That parody was just one long scene released online, which allowed them to strike more quickly.

Lee Roy Myers has made only one feature-length porn parody in the last couple years — Game Of Bones: Winter is Cumming — and all of our lives are a little sadder for that.

But Lee Roy Myers has made numerous parody scenes for arty tube site WoodRocket in that time. The best of those shorts have been collected in the anthology Pornocopia, available now in DVD, streaming and download formats.

Including …

The Knobbit (based on The Hobbit)
Porks and Recreation (based on Parks and Recreation)
Spongeknob Squarenuts (based on Spongebob Squarepants)
Sex Toy Story (based on Toy Story)
Rob Ford’s Sex Tape (which, horrifyingly enough, might even exist in real life)

Collectively starring Veruca James, Chloe Addison, Dani Jensen, Aiden Starr, Violet Monroe, Gaia, James Deen, Anthony Rosano, Tommy Pistol and Dick Chibbles.

Cheapo europorn outfit Cum Louder has released another goofy parody anthology — Porn Heros, Vol. 02.

The four sex scenes depict various costumed heroes getting it on.

Scene #1: Robin Hood
Scene #2: Mr. Incredible
Scene #3: Punisher
Scene #4: Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD

Female stars are Angel Rivas, Miyuki, Daniela Castro and Noe Milk.

Cum Louder’s previous outing in this series — Porn Heros, Vol. 01 — was an all-Marvel affair with Iron Man, the Hulk, Wolverine and Thor XXX spoofs.

In January 2014, British TV network Channel 4 ran a five-episode documentary series called Benefits Street, which followed various welfare recipients living on James Turner Street in Birmingham for one year. The program generated highly charged responses from across the political spectrum. Some critics complained that it was “poverty porn”. Various followup documentaries and panel shows used Benefits Street to debate welfare policy afterwards.

Not surprisingly, British pornographers have joined the conversation by producing their own parody poverty porn featuring actual porn.

Pure XXX Films presents a series called Benefits Treat following the horny chavs of “James Felcher Street” in Birmingham. One breakout star of Benefits Street was known as “White Dee”, while Benefits Treat has a character known as “White DP”. You get the idea.

So far Benefits Treat has four scenes available — Episode 1 … Episode 2 … Episode 3 … Episode 4 — each with sample clips and behind-the-scenes featurettes.

Television X launched its own parody series entitled Friends With Benefits Street in May. It features a character known as “White Double D”.

Television X makes it difficult for North American viewers to watch its product on DVD or VoD, so the YouTube promo is all we’ve seen so far.

Vivid debuts X-Men XXX: An Axel Braun Parody, available now inside the Vivid.com members area, featuring “an incredible ensemble of marvelously erotic mutants, awesome costumes, and mainstream-quality visual FX, along of course with Axel Braun’s legendary attention to detail”. (Look for the DVD set around July 29, and video-on-demand soon after that.)

Here’s the cast/character breakdown:

Allie Haze as Rogue
Skin Diamond as Storm
Andy San Dimas as Phoenix
Chanel Preston as Polaris
Jeannie Marie as Emma Frost
Katie St. Ives as Kitty Pryde
Tommy Gunn as Wolverine
J. Jay as Cyclops
Peter O’Tool as Blob
Alec Knight as Foreigner
Billy Glide as Colossus
Mike Moz as Professor X
Tom Byron as Magneto

Considering how many X-Men heroes and villains are available, the sequel possibilities are endless. Vivid already has Avengers vs. X-Men XXX: An Axel Braun Parody slated for summer 2016 release. Woo hoo!

Adam & Eve made X-Girls in 2000 to spoof the original X-Men movie. For whatever reason, the Adam & Eve version invented new superheroines (Mesmeratix! Flare! Vanishing Vixen!) rather than use existing X-Men characters. Private made X-Girls: The Lost X-Teens in 2007. Brazzers gave us XXX-Men: The Hellfire Club in 2013. But it’s safe to say that Axel Braun’s version is lightyears better than any previous X-Men porn parody.

Porn parody master Axel Braun plans to shoot Empire Strikes Back XXX in late 2014, a followup to his excellent Star Wars XXX from 2012.

The whole cast will be back — Allie Haze as Princess Leia, Seth Gamble as Luke Skywalker, Lexington Steele as Darth Vader.

Braun told XBiz, “I’ve been wanting to do it for a while, but it’s such a huge undertaking that I needed to find the right time to give it the proper attention. With next year’s release of Episode VII, it seemed inevitable. … It’s going to be a 16-day shoot with plenty of locations. We are actually considering going to Alaska to film the Hoth scenes.”

One notable change — Star Wars XXX was released by Vivid, but Empire Strikes Back XXX will be a Wicked release. Axel Braun’s recent Snow White XXX and 24 XXX were also released by Wicked. Braun announced a few months back his intention to shoot with condoms from now on, and Wicked has been all-condom for a while, so maybe that’s the reason for his new home. Decide for yourself if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Sex Tape starring Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel was a huge bomb. If you want to see it in a theater, better hurry up because it will be gone soon.

That failure hasn’t stopped two different porn studios from putting out quickie cheapo porn parodies, both due out on DVD this week.

First up, This Isn’t Sex Tape, It’s a XXX Spoof! from White Ghetto.

Followed by Sex Tape (Not!) from Hot Mess.

Neither of these look particularly ambitious. They might be Sex Tape parodies in the sense that each features videotape showing people have sex, but don’t expect much more than that.

In 2001, piggybacking on the godawful Tim Burton Planet of the Apes remake, Jim Powers directed the far superior porn parody Planet of the Babes.

The Powers version follows the original plot exactly: three astronauts land on a mysterious planet where intelligent apes enslave stone age humans.

The original DVD box cover looks styling, though I also dig this simpler Russian box:

The cast includes Asia Carrera, Bridgette Kerkove, Gwen Summers, Flick Shagwell, Lola Vargas, Steven St. Croix, Mickey G., Dave Hardman and Nick East. As you can see, they put some real effort into the sets …

… and costumes:

Alas, the sex scenes in Planet of the Babes are strictly human-on-human. In other words, the pornstars wearing the Halloween ape masks keep their clothes on.

Tom Byron directed a Planet of the Gapes series for Extreme Associates between 1998 and 2001, but there was no parody content beyond the title pun.

With the new Planet of the Apes series rising and dawning in Hollywood, it’s definitely time for a fresh porn parody. And for fuck’s sake, let the apes have some fun this time around.

New this week from Anastasia Pierce Productions comes a strange fetish parody, Scarlet Witch vs Black Widow and Batwoman.

Anastasia Pierce creates and stars in all-female light BDSM smut with a playful, burlesque vibe.

If stylish superhero cosplay bondage is your thing, or one of your things, it doesn’t get any better than this.

Legendary director Will Ryder and studio X-Play will release their newest porn parody later this month, Jersey Boys XXX: A Porn Parody.

Press release quotes from Will Ryder:

“The movie is definitely aimed at fans of high quality adult entertainment including couples that want to watch something enjoyable together and of course the people that love Frankie Valli and the Jersey Boys along with all the great music of that era.”

“I have to confess I am a huge fan of Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons and of course the musical Jersey Boys so I made sure I offered one-hundred percent respect to Mr. Frankie Valli in how I created this parody musical.”

“Yes we take some liberties. Our movie begins in the early 1960s when the band was just starting their career searching for a record deal and we take the audience on a fun ride that travels into the beginning of the disco era of 1974.”

We suspect those “liberties” include lots of sex. Call it a hunch.

The cast includes Tommy Pistol (as Frankie Valli), Eric John, Chad White, Kurt Lockwood and Chad Diamond (as the rest of the Four Seasons, because there are five of them in this version), plus Jersey girls Zoey Monroe, Carmen Caliente, Bailey Bae, Mila Blaze, Sunny Lane, Ryder Skye, Lucky Star and Anya Ivy.

This will be the third XXX musical directed by Ryder, following Not the Wizard of Oz XXX and Grease XXX (both 2013). The idea of pornstars singing and dancing may sound unpromising, but Wizard and Grease were both a blast and we have high hopes for Jersey Boys XXX too.