In a long overdue overhaul of our Coming Soon page over the weekend, we deleted a bunch of old listings. These were mostly porn parody projects which had been announced or rumored but never actually released. We’re not sure how many of these were real in-development projects. In some cases, we suspect that studios were simply calling “dibs” on various parody targets to deter rival studios.
For the sake of preserving data for future porn historians, we present this master list of Porn Parodies That Never Got Made.
In 2010, Adam & Eve announced upcoming XXX parodies based on Nitro Circus, Chips and It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, to be directed by David Lord. Though Lord has made several parodies for Adam & Eve and other studios since then, he never got around to these three titles.
From 2008 to 2011, Hustler churned out a series of Sarah Palin porn parodies — Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?, Obama’s Nailin’ Palin, Letterman’s Nailin’ Palin, etc. Meanwhile, when Tiger Woods’ marital problems hit tabloid headlines in late 2009, several porn studios rushed out Tiger Woods xxxploitation titles. During this craze, Hustler announced the mindblowing crossover project Tiger’s Nailin’ Palin. Sadly, they never hooked up.
In spring 2010, New Sensations announced upcoming porn parodies based on The A-Team, Harry Potter, 24, This is Spinal Tap, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Lost, all to be directed by in-house parody guru Lee Roy Myers. However, Myers left New Sensations later that year without having made any of these titles. Myers later directed Buffy the Vampire Slayer: A XXX Parody for Adam & Eve. Other studios/directors eventually covered The A-Team, Harry Potter and 24. To date, Spinal Tap and Lost remain untapped by porn parodists.
In December 2010, Adam & Eve announced a slate of parody films for 2011 based on Dallas, Porky’s, Knight Rider, Smokey and the Bandit, 9 ½ Weeks XXX, The Graduate and Goodfellas. Adam & Eve released Dallas XXX in 2012, then 9 ½ Weeks XXX in 2014. Another studio beat them to The Graduate XXX. The world still awaits Porky’s XXX, Knight Rider XXX, Smokey and the Bandit XXX and Goodfellas XXX.
Pleasure Dynasty planned an ambitious True Grit XXX to be directed by Jack the Zipper. The project had funding, a script, a cast and a poster. They planned to start shooting in fall 2011, but the project was abandoned due to budget overruns and failure to get location shooting permits.
Extreme Comixxx announced a casting call for Smallville XXX in May 2011. Superhero porn parodies remain popular, but this one never got made.
Vivid announced Bruce Lee XXX: A Porn Parody, starring Keni Styles in the title role and directed by Axel Braun, in February 2011. The title showed up on some industry release schedules later in 2011. A poster/box cover even appeared online. Then it all just vanished. Maybe Vivid kept it on the shelf, or maybe it was never completed.
Bluebird posted a trailer for Babe Runner (based on Blade Runner) in September 2011 for imminent DVD release date, but the film never appeared.
B. Skow planned Ferris Bueller’s Day Off XXX for Vivid in 2012, but he left Vivid before making this film.
Axel Braun was rumored to be working on Fantastic Four XXX for Vivid in 2011. Braun has made a bunch of superhero porn parodies since then, but hasn’t gotten around to the FF as yet. With the big Hollywood Fantastic Four reboot hitting theaters in summer 2015, we bet someone will give it a shot.
Sinister X Syndicate announced Rebel Without a Cause XXX with (naturally) James Deen playing the James Dean role. Never happened.
Sinister X Syndicate announced upcoming project Justice League 3DX in July 2012. XBiz reported, “Producer/director Rob Black said that he is staying true to the DC Comics reboot of The Green Lantern character as a gay superhero by having [gay pornstar Adam] Killian perform in one hardcore gay scene in the otherwise heterosexual porn movie.” Black (aka Sinister X) says, “Justice League 3DX is a straight movie. Evan Stone is Batman, Scott Lyons is Robin, Jennifer White is Wonder Woman and Lizzy Borden is Batwoman. It will have six boy/girl scenes and one full-on gay scene.” Never happened.
In early 2013 pornstar Kiara Mia planned to direct and star in a new Kardashians porn parody. Maybe it will still happen someday, but it’s been more than a year with no news.
In 2013 a new company called GrindHouse XXX Parody announced plans to make Machete XXX with Marco Banderas in the title role. Never happened.
Assence Films announced three porn parodies in the works in 2013-14. They said production had begun on Abercrombie & Bitch XXX in May 2013. They were allegedly in post-production on Fluke Me, “a raunchy political riff on the story of Sandra Fluke, the attorney-turned-politician who gained fame in 2012 when Rush Limbaugh called her a slut”, as of April 2014. And they announced Twins XXX for July 2014 release. We’re still waiting on all three.
So …
Some of these may get made someday, but none can honestly be labeled “coming soon” at this point.